Absence makes the heart grow fonder. What? Bullshit. When I’m gone nobody misses me. Well, a few people do. I got a couple of emails recently telling me to start blogging again (I had no idea anyone read this shit) so here I am in all my inglorious self righteous indignant bad attitude self. I messed that up but it still sounded good when I said it aloud. So, on with the blinkered look at news, politics, and odd stuff that is our lives.
What more could a comedian want than a vice president shooting a supporter during a quail hunt? Where was Dan Quayle? Sorry, but I could not resist that one. I don’t eat quail since they are too small and look rather disgusting when served up for dinner. And after the "victim" suffers a heart attack, the press goes wild and the jokes keep coming since Dick has had a few heart murmers recently too, without the assitance of BB pellets either. Keep ’em coming. It would have been SO much funnier if Dick had shot George Bush. That would have been one way to go from Vice to Full president. You keep what you kill, but only if your name is Riddick.
So the UN, without actually going to Guantanamo Bay, has recommended that the base be shut, the captives released or tried, and the US Government should investigate the accustaions of abuse and torture. This from a group whose many members have some of the worst human rights abuses on historical record. I would tell them to fuck off, but apparently that would be rude. Someone else will have to tell them to fuck off instead. Maybe we should send Dick to the next meeting with his BB gun….
On the continuing story of foul, sorry, fowl language, the avian bird flu HN5something or other seems to be gaining ground in Europe and Asia. No show in the US for now, but several million birds have been killed/kulled, and about 90 or so people have died. Send in Dick and his merry band of hunters to keep kulling. However serious this is to the fatalists, 90 people is chicken feed compared to the millions that die of starvation, war, pestilence and BB pellet poisoning. And scary as it is, the virus has not mutated to become the next Spanish flu yet, so maybe we should be spending all that cash on the current problems rather than one that is not yet evident. Think of it this way, at some point in the future, the sun will turn into a red giant and destroy earth. Should we start planning on moving to another galaxy now before it happens? BTW, not to worry anyone in particular but this problem WILL happen, but not for thousands of years, so relax, you have more to worry about than a fatal case of sunburn.
FEMA is still under investigation. I’d rather they spend the cash on rebuilding all the trailer parks that were destroyed during the storm because Jerry Springer is running out of victims for his show. He might have to start putting normal people with normal lives on screen, and that would be really tedious. I like to see the crazies, the in-bred morons and the degenerates beat the shit out of each other live on TV. It makes me feel good about myself and I begin to realize that I’m actually quite sane for the most part, although the blog sometimes directly contradicts that statement.
The winter olympics began with a lot of criticism about the amount of natural gas the olympic flame will burn (and waste) during said proceedings, apparently enough to supply a small village for a year according to some experts. First off, how do you become an expert in forecasting how much gas a small village will use in a year? How small a village? Is that taking into account population growth? What if people decide to have more than one shower a day (an odd choice for some Europeans I know but it could happen)? Anyway, Bode Miller fucked up, the Louge team fucked up, and an Aussie won the moguls freestyle competition, even though there is basically no snow in Australia. Oh, sorry, he is actually Canadian, moved to Australia and became an Australian, ay. I myself have watched none of it, preferring to participate rather than watch it. I and my trusty snowboard have been getting a serious workout this season, with a few more weekends planned on the hill if the weather cooperates. I did get to see some awesome crashes on the news though. I feel like a stock car fan waiting for the next Earnheartd fatality……
And finally, smoking can kill your income. Well I suppose it can but that is not what I meant to say literally. It seems that a number of American companies are now charging individuals who smoke $20 to $50 a month more for their medical coverage. Add to that the taxes on tobacco and the rising cost of smoking products and the rising costs of healthcare and you might have trouble paying for the habbit. Myself, I could care less. America supposedly spends 17 Billion on healthcare related costs for smokers each year, which is not true. Besides, Bush and his cronies have spent more than 1 Trillion dollars on wars recently, which could have covered the cost of health care for every American for the next 50 years. I smoke. I like to smoke. I don’t smoke at work in the office, only occasionally at home and at the pub (which will more than likely stop that practise before too long). I can grab all 237 employees at our company and have them assemble in the car park for a quick foot race around the business park and guarantee that I will not die, pass out, throw up, have a heart attack, seizure or stroke. Nor will I come in last. I might not come in first either, but I will be in the top 10, way in front of all those "healthy" people who don’t smoke. This number and those statistics must come from another of those experts I mentioned earlier. I need to find out how to become one of those experts. I bet they get paid more than I do. Life sucks.