I missed a day of writing and people get on my case already. This is tough to do so cut me some slack. Writing is not a trivial pursuit, and if you want to see how difficult it can be, start your own blog and find out. Add to that the pressures of work, a debilitating bout of the common cold, and I’m sure you will all see why I should be allowed to take a break occasionally. On top of all that, hardly anything interesting happened yesterday. Well, almost….
Michael Jackson and his accuser were back in court yesterday. MJ turned up early, probably in response to the fact that the Judge threatened to remove his bail freedom for being late previously. MJ should have the kids in his bed wake him up early enough to get to court on time from now on. Maybe the chimp can do it instead, who knows?
In related news, European police in several countries arrested 500 people in connection with an Internet pedophile ring. I wonder if MJ has broadband?
Don Owen was found dead in a pond a few miles from his home in Florida, the victim of a gator attack. The gator was captured and killed, the forearm of said victim still in a state of digestion inside the gators gastric tract. I feel sorry for the victim and his family as this type of fatality could easily have been avoided. It was discovered that neighbors and nearby residents had been feeding the gator on a somewhat regular basis, a very dangerous thing to do since gators are generally very wary of human beings and will do anything to avoid contact unless cornered or threatened. If you feed them however, they look at humans as a food source (who would have guessed?), and this can cause problems as we can see in this case. So, don’t feed the gators. The stupid gene strikes again.
Senate agrees Social Security needs help. A stunning revelation from CNN headline! None of us knew that, I’m sure. Everyone thought Social Security was in great shape. Maybe if the government had left the money where it was and not spent it on ice cream and candy, there would not be a problem. But, seeing as the stupid gene affects just about everyone, SS will be a few bucks short of a ten spot for a long time due to fiscal mismanagement and outright theft. That is OUR money, contributions WE make for our future well being. Just hope you don’t get sick the day after you retire…..
Apparently the Da Vinci Code has sparked the ire of the Vatican. You know the Vatican, the single richest religious organization on the planet. This is a hilarious article and you should read it. There are even references to the feminine role in Christianity being supressed, and if you read my earlier blogs you will know that I agree. How many women are ordained in the Catholic church? God prefers men apparently. I bet he is a fan of MJ’s music too…… I’m waiting to be struck down while writing this article. Nope. Still here. Tom Hanks will also be struck down if he goes ahead with the film based on the book, or maybe not, since he is rich and famous and I’m poor and unknown. Famous actors are always telling us how they thank god and are lucky enough to have been blessed etc. It sucks to be a nobody.
Sticking to the religious front, Israel returned control of Jericho to Palestine today. This is quite a giant leap forward for the peace process. If any of you have studied history you will know about Jericho and it’s biblical status as well as the battles that have been fought there, historical events et al. I really think that the death of Arafat has opened the way forward for a more peaceful Jewish/Palestinian environment. The only down side to this being the major support for certain radical groups in Lebabon of course. As for the final outcome being a lasting one, it remains to be seen. We can only hope.
In a supreme effort to combat global warming, reduce fossil fuel emissions and cut back on US oil imports, 9 year old Saje Beard is now commuting to school to attend her classes by mule. The US Government is examining this very closely since the congress has a few members that are about as smart as the four legged beast (some even look similar) and many proponents of a greener economy are also investigating large scale implementation of asses for public transportation and mail delivery. Trust me, when the oil runs out this won’t seem like such an amusing article…..
And in other education and fat related items (yep, still on the stupid gene/fat/idiot theme – they all seem related somehow:-) Florida is testing healthier menus in their schools. I myself have never eaten a menu, although I’m sure they are quite nutritious, especially when sprinkled on food, just like corn flakes.
The new menu items are part of the South Beach Diet program. The goal of the study is to figure out whether school cafeterias are capable of serving more nutritious food, whether kids will eat it and whether their health will improve. No shit. The old menu items consisted of pancakes and syrup, sugar and cereal, and waffles for breakfast. Replacements are fresh fruit, milk, whole wheat bread and low fat cheese. An absolute travesty, according to students. They don’t lioke healthy foods. Apparently they prefer to be fat, unhealthy, unfit and generally unattractive, just like 60% of the rest of the poulation.
Remeber, wherever you go, there you are.