A dime a dozen.

OK, a dozen commentaries for today.

Some idiot paid over a million dollars for a dime.  Now, I’m not one to tell people how to make use of their money, but a million buys a lot of happiness for kids suffering from degenerative diseases, cancer, MS, and a few others like AIDS.  How much satisfaction would you get out of owning a dime when you could help the suffering children of this great nation and feel really good about yourself.  There is no justice.

Speaking of which, if I hear Martha Stewart proclaim her innocence one more time I’m going to throw up.  I’m sick of her telling me she did nothing wrong.  Martha, they only send innocent people to jail, right?.  Shut up.  Carry the weight of your guilt.  Be humble.  And stop trying to fool people who are smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

Michael Jackson.  WTF happened to you?  The sad part is, even I was a fan in my younger days.  This time around I think you deserve everything you get, and then some.  I hope they put you in GP when you got to jail.

So a few geniuses at the crash test facility tell us that the Dodge Neon will fare poorly in a side-on collision (getting smacked in the drivers side) by an SUV at 31MPH.  No shit.  Really?  You had to crash a few of those to figure that out?  And poorly?  What does that mean?  The driver will be eating his meals through a straw for a few months and urinating into a cholostomy bag?  Why not substitute a rating of "poor" for a really meaningful word from the English dictionary, like "abysmal" or "deadly" perhaps.  And then the manufacturers have the audacity to come back with "our vehicles meet the government safety standards" etc.  Maybe that is the real problem.  Substitute the crash test dummies with the idiots who work for the department that writes those standards and see how fast they get changed.  A few weeks in critical care and several months of rehab might wake them up to the startling reality that the vehicles being put on the roads by the majority of the car makers are UNSAFE!  Go on folks, buy a Dodge Neon.  I dare you.  That was a nice segway into this.

There is an Italian journalist that thinks so highly of herself that she actually believes the US military tried to kill her.  Trust me baby, if the USMC had wanted to put an end to your sorry little existence, this space in my blog would be blank.  Buy yourself a Dodge Neon and go for a drive, please.

Canadians launch rocket into Aurora.  Rocket crashes after short flight (35 minutes shorter than it was supposed to be:-).  Searchers find rocket based on GPS locator data.  This is why Canada has no real space program, they don’t build sports cars, and they have no aicraft industry to speak of.  They do have a national health care system though, which, like that of the UK and a few other countries is now and will allways be the envy of the US.  I’m sorry, you are sick?  A life threatening illness?  And you are poor?  And no health insurance?!?!  Sorry mate, but you are going to die a lot sooner than you thought.  Sell your house and we might be able to give you some medical "pot" to ease your pain.

Speaking of all things medical, Bill Clinton is off to hospital to have some fatty/scar tissue removed and some fluid drained.  This is too easy.  I could write a comedy on this one.  Anyway, apparently he’s not well (we have all known this for some time) and will be going in to see the butcher soon.  I hope he will be OK, really, I do.  It is quite fun to write about him.

There is a worm circulating through the Instant Messaging world which is gaining "momentum" accordingt to today’s tech news (sigh).  I’m used to intrusive viruses and worms.  Only yesterday I was in a customer/corporate test location when I discovered the two systems that were being used for development were infected with the sasser worm and the bling virus.  That is correct.  Two old fogeys of the virus world.  This is a 43 billion dollar corporation, and they can’t even protect their own internal network.  I was a little peeved to say the least.  You would not believe how fast I killed my connection to that network.  I don’t use IM.  I find I can talk faster than I can type words into my cellphone, so I make a phone call instead.  I have not been affected by the IM worm.

There is apparently no evidence to show that "King Tut" was murdered.  That is really good news.  I was terribly worried that someone had actually killed him, ending his young life before he could achieve the kind of greatness his ancestors had.  I will no doubt rest easier tonight, as, I’m sure, will all of you.  Case solved.

A million dollar dime and a sixteen thousand dollar breast implant.  You figure it out, because I’m at a loss.  I would have paid 16K for the woman the implant was in, but a lump of silicone?  You can buy them from any reputable plastic surgeon for a lot less than 16K.  The cost of putting them in is where the charges really are.  Not that I would know of course……

There is a round-eye in charge of Sony!  Yep, that’s what they call us.  Round-eyes.  The Japs are so polite really.  Think of all the racist, derogatory, inflamatory, rude, obnoxious, hate-filled expressions that the rest of the world has coined for each other, and the Japs call us barbarians or round-eyes.  Maybe now Sony will finally dump that ATRAC format (another dismal failure brought on by an overconfidant "we are going to take over the world" Japanese company) and finally embrace MP3.  ATRAC will now go the way of the Betamax player.  I do think it is terrible how they are treating our not-so-favorite ex chess champion though.  One boiled egg a day?  Shameful.  Which leads nicely to this.

And fianally, the Pope has decided to delegate the majority of his Easter duties.  That has just ruined my whole Easter experience.  How am I supposed to enjoy my chocolate eggs now?  How am I supposed to look at the Easter Bunny and smile knowing that some other religious wannabe is giving the mass and not the Pope himself?  It’s a travesty.  Someone ought to do something about this, like elect a new Pope that can walk unaided, feed himself and talk coherently.  How long do we have to watch the poor guy being tortured by his religion?  Let him retire.  Please.





About rjbirkett

Part time photographer, full time geek, motorcycle zealot, avid reader, and most importantly, unbiased. Unless politics is the subject of discussion.
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